The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman

5 love languages

I recently spent some time putting together a whole page on the blog dedicated to Book Reviews. While working on this page I decided I would make it easier for readers to find a book they desired based on “Fiction”, and “Non-Fiction” titles. What I realized while working away at this was that since starting the blog, I have read very little… in fact only one… non-fiction book. So in my attempt to read more non-fiction, I stumbled upon The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman and decided to read it as I’ve heard rave reviews.

WOW!!! This book has helped me understand so much about myself, my husband, and even people in my work life. The whole premise of this book is that as our busy lives just keep on getting busier, expressing love to the people in our lives is easily put on the back burner. We forget to say thank you, give gifts, hug, or put out the trash! Gary Chapman believes that we all have a way that we like to receive and give love… according to his philosophy it is in 5 different ways:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch

And when we try to give love to people in our lives in the wrong way, it’s easy to feel like you are missing something in that relationship. BUT, imagine if we had the tools to be able to understand why we constantly fight about the same things, or let the same things get under our skin! That’s where this book comes in handy.

Love doesn’t keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn’t bring up past failures. None of us is perfect. In marriage we do not always do the right thing. We have sometimes done and said hurtful things to our spouses. We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future. Having confessed my failure and asked forgiveness, I can do nothing more to mitigate the hurt it may have caused my spouse. When I have been wronged by my spouse and she has painfully confessed it and requested forgiveness, I have the option of justice or forgiveness. If I choose justice and seek to pay her back or make her pay for her wrongdoing, I am making myself the judge and her the felon. Intimacy becomes impossible. If, however, I choose to forgive, intimacy can be restored. Forgiveness is the way of love.

The above passage was my “AHA” moment. It was the moment that I realized that it’sย  your responsibility to choose to love your partner everyday, or it will be a struggle. Whether the misunderstandings that we experience with out partners are large, or as small as forgetting to turn the crock pot on… we have a choice to let it go, and choose to love!

If you are in a relationship or want to be, I highly recommend this book. It’s short, easy to read, and very insightful. It also has small, practical solutions that you can insert into your life/relationship immediately with intent.

That’s all for today on this one, but stay tuned as I am making it my mission to read and review more non-fiction!

 

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